Wednesday Morning Thoughts and Prayers

A human being is a longing for God and nothing less than God will satisfy us; the seductive voices that would make us anything less than this are to be resisted. Our battle will continually be with the deadly reductionisms in the world today; with attitudes that diminish human beings to disposable commodities, to means to commercial or political ends.
-Alan Jones, Exploring Spiritual Direction

Each of us has a longing, whether it's for money, fame, the perfect relationship, the perfect house or car. But, material wants (And some people see relationships as material possessions!) are just a symptom of our deeper longing for the joy and happiness that only a relationship with God can provide.

We're not quite sure how to cultivate that relationship. We have this push and pull relationship with the divine. We desperately want to live in that blissful oneness with our creator, but at the same time, the seductive voices of the world tell us we have to give up everything material to get it. We are caught between God and the world. God calls us to a journey, often fraught with pain and challenge, to deepen our relationship with Her, while the world offers shallow, immediate gratification. So often, we grab for the easy, the shiny, the new. We are always disappointed, always grasping for more and more when the new wears off or an equally attractive worldly bobble appears on the horizon.

The irony is that when we take the chance on God and go on that journey to deepening our relationship with Him, the material world fades in the distance. The new and the shiny are not as attractive as before. We don't miss the instant gratification because we know it will not give us lasting joy.

As we journey with God, drawing closer to God, filling our spirit and senses with God, material concerns and possessions are seen in a new light. Instead of objects to please us, they become tools to be used to please God and further God's work in the world. The material world becomes a resource to implement the greater good, not just a source of instant pleasure. We still can take pleasure in material things, but we now understand their purpose. They are not here for our selfish use - to be consumed and tossed into the garbage the next day. Instead, they are here to be used for the good of all.

As we draw closer to God, resisting those seductive voices become easier and our view of the material world changes. No longer do we see people and things as disposable commodities to be used. Instead, we see them as holy, beloved creations of God and we honor them.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts and Prayers

The Lord, when He wants to change a situation, has a better method. He changes people, and changed people change situations.
-Norman Vincent Peale, Positive Imaging

As I drove to work yesterday, I noticed the PowerBall Lottery was up to $51 million.

"Oh, Lord, I want that," I breathed.

I probably don't really want that - the money would be nice, sure - but all the new "friends" that come out of the woodwork would be distressing. All the attention. You'd never be able to trust anyone again. The question, "Do they like me or my money?" would always be present.

::Sigh::

So, I continued on to work, realizing that the underlying problem was that I just wanted life to be simple. A lot of money would make many things in life very simple. No need for the daily grind of commuting, working and commuting again. No need to ever worry about debt or bills or anything that involves money - except whether or not your banker and your broker really like your or your money.

That's what we all want - a simple life - a life where God swoops in an makes it all right. No more uncertainty. No more fear. No more wondering what you'll do if this or that tragedy occurs.

Alas, God does not work that way. We were given free will in this world which limits God's ability to swoop in like Superman. Sure, God can still do miracles if She pleases, but those are few and far between. For the most part, God watches over us, lets us make our mistakes and then helps us pick up the pieces so we can move on.

Instead of coming in and fixing things for us or taking away all uncertainty, God has a better way. God changes us. As we experience insecurity, fear and despair, God grows our faith. God grows our strength and our character with each trial we face. God does not bring us to these trials - our own free will does that - but God is ever with us through good times and bad times.

By becoming more loving, compassionate, caring people we begin to change the harsh, hateful ways of the world. As one of my favorite theologians, Bono, sings, "I can't change the world, but I can change the world in me."

Rejoice in that knowledge. God is ever shaping and changing you so you can change the situations that surround you.

Monday Thoughts and Prayers

"Waiting on God is a bore; but what fun to argue, to score off opponents, to lose one's temper and call it 'righteous indignation,' and at last to pass from controversy to blows, from words to what St. Augustine so deliciously described as the 'beningnant asperity' of persecution and punishment."
- Aldous Huxley, "The Perennial Philosophy"

Yesterday, I spent most of the afternoon marching in a circle - oh, and getting yelled at. Such is the life of an activist lesbian pastor in South Carolina.

I joined about two dozen other people from the South Carolina Gay and Lesbian Pride Movement in a silent vigil at the "Embrace the Change" concert in Columbia where anti-gay gospel singer Donnie McClurkin was making his appearance despite protests from the GLBT community. Senator Barack Obama (who only appeared at the fundraising concert via Memorex)had refused to remove McClurkin from the bill and instead added "balance" by inviting the senior pastor of my church, Rev. Andy Sidden, to give the opening prayer.

As we marched across the street from the concert hall, a self-appointed spokeswoman for God decided we needed some preachin'. She insisted that God did not love gays and lesbians because "God created them male and female."

We had agreed to a silent vigil so we let her spew her hatred and condemnation unchallenged. She, of course, caught the attention of the camera crews on hand and was promptly miked up by a couple of them and interviewed. She refused to give her name. I love bigots who still want to maintain their anonymity. If she's so proud of her hateful speech, she ought to at least be willing to give her name just as proudly. We all gave our names to the reporters and photographers hovering around us. We have no problem telling the world about love and giving our names while we do it.

Neither she, nor us, can wait on God. It's way more fun to argue, to score points and express our righteous indignation. She felt righteous, but so did we. Instead of trusting God to reconcile us all, we contend with one another - shouting, marching, protesting, holding vigils. Instead of finding common ground where we can work with each other and God to achieve God's realm of peace, we fight and score points against one another, taunting each other over trivial differences of opinion.

Waiting on God is boring - but it's necessary if we are to recognize when God moves. We can certainly work while we wait - but let our work be searching for common ground, not just shouting at one another across the divide.

God, forgive us all for our arrogance. Give us the patience, and the joy, to instead, wait on you.

Rev. Sidden on the Radio

Rev. Andy Sidden, Senior Pastor of Garden of Grace UCC, where I serve as associate pastor, appeared on Mike Signorile's radio show yesterday to discuss the controversy around his being chosen to give the opening prayer at Barack Obama's black gospel concert this Sunday in Columbia, SC.

Use this link to listen to the interview.

Friday Morning Thoughts and Prayers

Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is.
- Blaise Pascal

Just as I began to create this post an ad for one of the politicians running for president flashed across the television. I did not say a kind word to him. In fact, the words I said were quite unkind. True, he couldn't hear me, but I heard me. I heard the disgust in my voice, the underlying frustration in my tone. I felt them blister on my tongue and lips. What is the true cost of my stinging words, even uttered alone in a room, against another human being? They may not harm this politician, but they tear at my own soul.

Kind words don't cost much - harsh words cost plenty. They can destroy friendships, marriages, churches and nations. A war of words has a high price tag. It causes agitation, irritation, anger, and often results in real war - humans battling one another because of something another person said. Gossip is pricey - kind words don't cost much.

Jesus tells us it's not what goes into our mouth that defiles us, but what comes out of it (Matthew 15:11). If words of anger, irritation or hatred come from our lips, that is surely what is in our heart. My words to the politician reveal my own irritation and anger in my heart. My words tell more about me than they do about that politician. My words mean I need to work more on me - allowing God to soften my own heart. It says nothing about the politician.

Today, resolve to speak kind words. They don't cost much, so spend freely. Speak kindly, even of those who irritate or anger you. Create beautiful images in the hearts and minds of others. Utter words of compassion, understanding, grace, mercy and love - even if you're all alone. Give over to God any words of anger or irritation that come from your heart.

If you have prayers or praises to share, please do so in the comments.

My Pastor is Now Famous

So, perhaps you've heard the brouhaha about Barack Obama and his association with a homophobic gospel singer set to perform during a show in Columbia, SC this Sunday. The GLBT community is going nuts, of course, demanding that Obama get rid of said performer.

Instead, the campaign has asked an openly gay pastor to give the opening prayer. That pastor is none other than Andy Sidden, the Senior Pastor of Garden of Grace United Church of Christ where I am privileged to serve as his associate pastor.

When he told me yesterday that they had asked him to do this, I told him he'd make news if he did it. He didn't think some little old pastor doing a prayer would be anything newsworthy - but I knew better. I told him Obama needs to throw the GLBT community a bone and he's the bone!

Andy's already taking some hits over on Pam's House Blend for agreeing to do this, but I am proud of him for taking a stand and for taking the opportunity to give a voice to our community against this blatant homophobia.

In addition, Andy will be appearing on Mike Signorile's Sirius Satellite Radio show at 4:30 p.m. this afternoon. Catch it if you have SIRIUS OutQ 109, and let me know how it went. I gave up my satellite radio about a year ago.

And give Andy your prayer support while you're at it. He's getting it from both sides now!

Thursday Morning Thoughts and Prayers

If a thought or behavior divides us, it is not of God; if it unites us, it is of God. -Wayne Dyer, Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life

Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? Humans live to divide. We divide into tribes, nations, religious affiliations, classes, races, sexual orientations and genders. What ridiculous creatures we are - wanting to find that extra something that makes us more special than someone else, more favored than someone else and especially more loved by God than someone else.

Scripture tells us that God shows no partiality (Romans 2:11) and that before God there is no male or female (Galatians 3:28). There is no distinction when God looks at us. All God sees are His beloved children. All God sees is Her image, lurking inside of each of us, dying to get out. But we keep our God essence locked up tight as we divide and divide and divide.

We feel so righteous when we divide. We feel like we're engaged in an activity blessed by God, but we are not. Our penchant to divide comes from fear and fear does not come from God. We are afraid that someone might get more than us, be more favored than us and be loved by God more than us. In that fear, we divide, we hate, we destroy anyone who threatens our feeling of specialness.

We see it in church and society all the time as GLBT Christians. Those who fear including us in God's love verbally abuse us, call us names, exclude us, and work to keep us from full participation in the body of Christ. In society, those who fear losing their special status pass laws preventing us from benefiting from federal marriage laws or federal job protections.

Fear and division do not come from God. Only when we set aside our differences and realize that we are all beloved children of God will we finally get a glimpse of what God intends for Her realm. The realm of God is here - we only make it a reality when we unite in the assurance that we are all special to our Creator.

Remember, if you have a prayer or a praise, feel free to post it in the comments and we'll pray for you or celebrate with you!

Morning Thoughts and Prayers

What if genuine faithfulness is less a matter of waiting on God and more a matter of working or playing with God?
-Kirk Byron Jones, Holy Play

How many of us are waiting on God to do something in our lives? Whether it's bringing about peace and joy, that perfect job, that perfect mate, that perfect house, car or other possession. How many times have we been told to be patient that God will work it out? So we sit on our blessed assurances and bitch and moan and say, "Well, I'm waiting on God."

What if God is really waiting on us? What if God is waiting for us to understand that if we truly want peace and all those good things we desire, we need to get to work, to make God our co-worker instead of our rescuer. What if God is winking at us, waiting for us to give a knowing wink back and learn how to play with God.

Why do we always talk so reverently of God, in hushed tones, averting our eyes so that God won't get angry with us or punish us for some perceived sin? Why can't we understand that the God who loves us beyond all imagination wants to work and play with us.

An Episcopalian friend of mine once remarked, "God created us because God thought we might enjoy it." We must celebrate our lives. Instead of waiting for some mysterious God to rescue us from our troubles and despairs, we need to get out there and pursue God with all our heart, mind and strength. Work with God on what you want in this life and don't forget to take some holy recess time. Play on the swings with God, go down the slide - backwards if you like, get dizzy on the merry-go-round. God laughs and plays right along.

I'll try to be faithful in posting some morning thoughts and give you all a chance to use the comments to post any praises and prayers you'd like to lift up. What can we celebrate or pray about today for you? Let us know.

Say What You Want, Just Spell My Name Right

Alas, the author of this blog cannot even do that - referring to me as "Challew" the entire post. He accuses me of mangling scripture, yet his reading skills are so poor he can't even tell an "e" from an "a." Too rich.

His critique of Whosoever is hysterical (and full of self-righteous hysterics) however, so go check it out - excerpting it does not do it justice.

Theological Bull$%!&

Here in the buckle of the Bible belt you don't have to drive too far to read all sorts of crap that passes for "sound theology" in today's conservative churches. They are the source of much amusement for me and would be even more amusing if so many people didn't buy into this kind of claptrap about God. So, I'm going to start writing regularly about the theological bull$%!& I regularly see around my area.

I'll provide photographic evidence of as much of this crap as I can, but I didn't have the camera when I read this morning's gem:

"Are you ready to meet him in your present condition?"

Theologically there are so many problems with this statement, but let's focus on the major underlying assumption: "You have to change your ways before you'll ever be acceptable to God. You are such a scum sucking worm that God could never, ever love you as you are right now, so shape up, jerk, or you'll spend an eternity burning in HELL!"

But, they can't fit all that on a small message board, so they go with the shorthand:

"Are you ready to meet him in your present condition?

My answer is, "Yes, of course."

Why? Because God meets ME in my present condition. God isn't waiting somewhere far off ignoring me until I clean up my act, wash my face and stop that damn sinning. Instead, God is with us constantly, getting dirty with us. God meets us every minute in those moments when we think bad thoughts about others and in those moments when we have rare altruistic thoughts without a selfish motive. God is with us in the good times and the bad - when we're wishing the idiot driving the car in front of us would swerve off the road and out of our way and also when we're coming to the aid of someone who just swerved off the road in front of us.

Anyone who tells someone else that they must change before God can love them is lying. Plain and simple. Those who put the sign up are probably the smugly self-righteous crowd who believe that yes, they have properly cleaned up their act and God is favoring them even as they finish spelling out their theological bull$%!&.

God tells us we can come to Her heavy laden and unburden ourselves. We don't have to come unburdened and all fixed. God is the one who does any repair work that's needed. Trying to change ourselves without God's help or thinking that we can win God's favor by even trying is the real sin here.

Here's the truth - God is with you now, in your present condition, and She thinks you're incredibly wonderful.

Amen.

Who said this?

''In a world wounded by conflicts, where violence is justified in God's name, it's important to repeat that religion can never become a vehicle of hatred, it can never be used in God's name to justify violence,'' he said. ''On the contrary, religions can and must offer precious resources to build a peaceful humanity, because they speak about peace in the heart of man.''

Oddly enough, it was the same man who said this:

''It is only in the marital relationship that the use of the sexual faculty can be morally good. A person engaging in homosexual behavior therefore acts immorally."

''This does not mean that homosexual persons are not often generous and giving of themselves," he wrote then, ''but when they engage in homosexual activity they confirm within themselves a disordered sexual inclination which is essentially self-indulgent."

Tell me, Pope Benedict, why is it okay for you to use God to justify your verbal violence against gay and lesbian people but then you go to Naples, Italy and denounce all violence done in the name of God?

I'm just asking, because calling gay and lesbian people "disordered," "immoral," and "self-indulgent" is just as violent as a kick or a punch. It's been said that while sticks and stones break bones, words can never hurt you, but words do hurt because they give those who put stock in your words all the excuses they need to go out and beat and/or kill gay and lesbian people and feel righteous about it.

Your words, Pope Benedict, are violent and perpetuate violence. Unless you repent of your violence toward gay and lesbian people you're no better than the punks you denounced in Italy. The thug waiting in the alley for his next victim may be holding a knife or a gun, but your words of hatred for gay and lesbian people are just as deadly.

Shame.

Please sign and return

I realized one of my childhood dreams today. I have just signed a contract with a major publisher to publish my first book.

I'm still sort of in shock.

It's so damn cool.

My book, Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians will be published by Jossey-Bass in the Fall of 2008.

It's so damn cool.

I did what a bunch of writer and wannabe writer friends of mine said couldn't be done.

"First time writers don't get agents," they sagely intoned.

Oh, yeah?

I found one after six query letters to potential agents.

"Just a fluke," they shook their heads. "Beginner's luck. Now settle in for the long wait to find a publisher."

Six weeks later - a publisher.

It's so damn cool.

Now, they're all asking me how I did it.

My answer: Write a damn good book. Write a damn good proposal to sell it.

That's what I did.

It's so damn cool.

New Godcast from Whosoever

Check out our sixteenth podcast, or "Godcast" from Whosoever: An Online Magazine for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Christians, features an interview with Eric Elnes about his new book Asphalt Jesus which chronicles the 2500 mile trek he and several others took across the country in an effort to put action to progressive Christian principles. God had some surprises for them along the way - Eric will tell us more. We'll also take a meditation moment. And, we'll wrap it up with some holy humor.

Whosoever Godcast #16

Send in the Clowns

I've read a ton of literature on the effectiveness of nonviolent direct social action, but I have never seen it quite put into action like this before.

A Ku Klux Klan rally in Knoxville didn't get so much punked as they did "clowned." Back in May the local Kluxers held a rally and got a big surprise.

Unfortunately for them the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.

Alex Linder the founder of VNN and the lead organizer of the rally kicked off events by rushing the clowns in a fit of rage, and was promptly arrested by 4 Knoxville police officers who dropped him to the ground when he resisted and dragged him off past the red shiny shoes of the clowns.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.

At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”

The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”

LOL! What a brilliant idea. Send in the clowns indeed. This is what nonviolent advocates mean when they talk about "Jesus' Third Way." I can just see Jesus painting his face and donning some big red shoes to lampoon the ridiculous Pharisees of his day.

This is how we fight hatred, folks. Satire is powerful.

Oh, hell

On the drive home yesterday I flipped through the AM stations, which I often do on a lark when I'm truly bored, and found one of my favorite things to listen to - hellfire preachers.

I don't know who this woman was, but she had an irritating refrain of, "Does that make sense, yes or no?" She, of course, gave no time for anyone to say, "Um, no ..." - because she was on to the next point. If that rings a bell with anyone, please let me know who this woman was. The signal crapped out before the end of her sermon. Does that make sense, yes, or no? :)

Anyhoo, she had a fascinating sermon - one I agreed with in part, but another that I really disagreed with. Her main premise was that hell is real but is neither immanent nor eternal. She believes that when we die, we lie in our graves until Jesus returns to resurrect us all and divide the sheep from the goats. Then the party of heaven and the agony of hell begin. Until then, all our dead loved ones (and hated ones) are simply taking their dirt nap. Does that make sense, yes or no?

She then went on to say that hell is not eternal, but is a refining fire where we are cleansed so we can then be with God. This is the part I actually agreed with in many ways. I truly don't believe there is as "hell" per se, but that there is a reconciling process we go through after death. Ultimately, however, we all are reconciled to God.

But, here's where her argument didn't make sense for me. She talked about how when Jesus returns he will smite the evil in the world, and presumably the evil who have already died - so the goats are destroyed and all that's left are sheep. Why would there even be a need for hell if that is so?

And if the only way that God can overcome evil is to destroy it (an act of spiritual and physical violence) doesn't that mean that God is ultimately powerless to reconcile evil? (And why do we take such glee in picturing God violently destroying the "bad" people?) Why does God have to destroy evil violently instead of "destroying" it by reconciling it to him in whatever process God may choose?

Does that make sense, yes or no?

I tried desperately to keep up with her argument - she had scriptural proofs and whatnot, but in the end it seemed to fall apart for me on many levels that I have outlined above. I believe that God reconciles us and does not wish for our destruction, no matter how poorly we've acted in our lives. I'm not quite sure of the idea that we dirt nap until the second coming. Since I'm not convinced of the "second coming" as some grand rapture like event, it's hard for me to picture what those who believe in such things are talking about. I think Jesus returns every day and every day we torture and kill him like before. Jesus gives us a chance daily, hourly, minute by minute, to bring the kingdom of God to earth, and daily, hourly, minute by minute, we fail to bring it about because of our inability to see that we are interconnected, interwoven to one another. Our self absorption keeps us from recognizing Christ already in the world.

Does this make sense, yes or no?

I'm not sure any of it makes sense, but it's always fun to speculate.

Speculate along with me if you feel so moved.

South Carolina is sooooooo proud!

Our law books here in the Palmetto State require that each child be given an "adequately minimal education."

Mission accomplished.



Here's a link in case you can't see the video above.

Follow the path

"When we look around at what other people have and where they are going, we lose focus on what's important: what we have and where we're going. Yes, there is more than one path to the top of the mountain. But the only one that will get you there is yours. Do not look longingly at the paths of others. Give yours your undivided attention and keep your focus." -Philip Toshio Sudo, Zen Guitar

It's easy to look longingly at the paths of others this week. There are so many accomplished, or at least highly skilled, guitarists wandering the campus. There have been three staff concerts over the week where our teachers have shown their skill. One student remarked that he'd either burn or sell his guitar when he got home because he'd never be that good.

Well, he'd certainly never be that good in the way the teachers are that good. The teachers are not even that good in the way the other teachers are. We all have our own path. We all have our own style. We all have different levels of dedication to our instrument. Some of us play part time, after work, on the weekends. Others, like our teachers, have made music their entire lives. They eat and drink music, sleep it and dream it. That is their path.

My first day here I was tempted to give up my own pursuit of the guitar. I'm an after work and weekend player - 30 minutes a day, tops. Will I ever be as good as any of my teachers? I don't know. I suppose I could be if I dedicated myself to learning what they know. But, I don't want their path. I want my path. I don't do anyone any good by envying another person's life. That's just a distraction away from the fear of living my own life. Looking longingly at the path of another means we fear our own path. We're afraid to find our own heart, our own style, for many reasons. What if we're simply not good enough, not talented enough, not dedicated enough? So? If this path isn't working for you, find another one. Keep searching until you find the path that speaks to you.

You may play your guitar "in the style" of another player. But, you'll never play just like them. You don't have their heart. You don't have their style. You're not on their path. Emerson says our lives are the accumulation of the experiences we've lived. We can't live someone else's experience and we can't walk their path.

There's no use in envying anyone else. If someone else is doing what you want to do, pursue that goal - but realize your path to that goal will look different than theirs. Celebrate their path, uplift them as they travel. But understand, you're on your own path. Stick to it - put the force of your accumulated life behind it - and you'll soon find yourself staring at the world from the mountain top.

Idol worship

I'm engaging a little bit of idol worship at guitar camp. One of the instructors this week is a favorite performer of mine: Billy Jonas. If you've never heard of him, please check out his Web site and buy tons of his CDs. He calls himself a "repercussionist" and uses found objects like barrels and cans for percussion instruments in his songs.

I performed his song, "One" at church and the crowd loved it. Billy was disappointed to learn that the recorder crapped out when we performed it. I was, too. I would have loved to preserved it for posterity, but I'm sure we can do it again.

I've always wanted to use his song "God is In" for a sermon, but was having trouble figuring it out from the recordings since it was in a alternate tuning. He was gracious enough yesterday to teach me the song after dinner last night.

::swoon::

After showing me the chords he asked me to play it back to him and I refused. I was already embarrassed enough and told him to give me some time to practice it up so I wouldn't look like a complete fool trying to play his music. He promised to catch up with me later this week, so I guess I need to practice, eh?

I'm exhausted. Last night I stayed up late (remember 9:30 is bedtime for me) and jammed with a group of folks in one of the jamming tents. I sat with my guitar in the case until the last minute and was coaxed to play a couple of songs. I should have had someone take a picture since I'll probably need to prove to some people that I actually mustered up the courage to play for strangers ...

It was exciting and pass-out frightening all at the same time. As the song passed to the next person I realized I was literally shaking. The air was chilly here last night, but it wasn't that kind of shaking - it was a terrified shaking. But, it was good terror. The folks in the tent were generous to my face, even if they're deriding me today. I don't know if they are or aren't so I don't really care. I felt affirmed in the moment and really, that's all that matters.

I'm glad they only do this thing once a year. It will take me all of the next year to fully digest all of the incredible things I've learned here just in three short days. Theory to pick apart and understand, songwriting tips to incorporate and use, tips and tricks from other players to practice and use. The list is endless.

My back hurts, but my spirit is soaring.

That's gonna leave a mark ...

Well, today at guitar camp, I got a tattoo. Okay, it's a press on tattoo, but I'm thinking of making it the real thing. It's the circle of fifths with a snake as the circle. Check out the pic. It's a handy little tool complete with a chord speller in the middle.


I have graduated to music geekdom.

All hail the music geeks.

It's been a full day. I haven't had a chance to come back to the room to chill before now. Classes in the morning, then a half capo workshop after lunch followed by another class and a free form writing session with a fellow student. The teacher calls it "ink vomit" - just five minutes of free form writing based on a beginning phrase. This is part of the songwriting course I picked up after dumping the "Stealin' from Chet" class that was going to be too over my head technically.

It's turned out to be a great switch since my other two classes are theory. The songwriting class gives me a chance to let the right brain play and it's like a kid going to recess for the first time in months. On the monkey bars, jumping off the swings, then jumping off backward, getting dizzy on the merry-go-round. Damn. This kid hasn't played in awhile. It's nice to have the freedom to do that.

The "ink vomit" (I do hate the word "vomit") is an interesting exercise. You take a phrase and just riff on it and see where it leads. The one the fellow student and I did began with a line from a poem she had: "If the moon were a house ..."

Here's my ink vomit (actually lead vomit, since I used a pencil):

If the moon were a house, I'd sell it to the highest bidder and immediately buy it back. If the moon were a house it would be finely decorated, but have no atmosphere (ba, dum, bump), If the moon were a house I could see inside your window every night and watch over you as you sleep. I'd build an addition just to block out the sun, so you'd have to stare at the moon the rest of your life. If the moon were a house, I'd paint it purple with beige trim and make the property values of the universe plummet. If the moon were a house I'd put a couch on the porch and park my beat up Chevy on the craggy lawn. No need to worry about the growing grass because it's the moon. If the moon were a house, I'd have you over every night so we could shoot pool, drink beer and watch the world go round. If the moon were a house I'd live there forever but I'd kick the old man out and make the place my own. If the moon were a house, we'd live there together until we grow too old then we'd simply float away into space. Floating forever, away from the moon where we made our house.

Well, they call it "vomit" for a reason - but there's a fun song in there somewhere ...

I'm including a shot of the pedestrian bridge to the other side of campus. Warren Wilson is gorgeous and the view of the mountains with the morning mist is breathtaking. The bridge is beautiful and represents what I'm working on this week - bridging that gap between mind and spirit, body and soul, music and musician.

I'm well on my way to that spiritual journey - and I know it's gonna leave a mark.

This one time, at band camp ...

I arrived in beautiful Asheville last night, all set to sharpen my chops at the Swannanoa Gathering. It's both guitar and contemporary folk week, so there are people wandering the Warren Wilson College campus with guitars and mandolins. (No trumpets and I'll steer clear of any I see.) One guy told me he had a bazookie (not sure how to spell that), which he says is a bass mandolin. Can't wait to see that appear at a jam session.

I spent the first night not even touching my guitar, but watching a lot of other people play theirs. Orientation consisted of some housekeeping items and a short performance by each teacher. It turned into a monster concert and left me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. I found the beer tent and headed back to my room to play the three songs I know by heart and began to doubt the wisdom of coming to place where everyone seems way ahead of me in skill.

The lady at the beer tent was philosophical. "Well, you expect your teachers to be a lot better than you."

Indeed.

But, there's that nagging voice that says you're not good enough and you never will be. I tied that voice up and set it in the closet before leaving for class this morning, but it escaped. The first class on theory was a blast. Great stuff to know and learn. I even have a press-on "circle of fifths" tattoo that I'll be sporting later today.

But, the voice made its reappearance in the second class called "Stealing from Chet" where we're learning some Chet Atkins licks and styles. Having never finger picked before it was way over my head. After I blog, I'm going to go out into the rain and talk with the class folks about perhaps finding a different class. The songwriting classes looked great, so I may try that. I haven't written any songs since the 80's, but it's never too late to start again, eh?

I haven't taken many pics yet, so I'm simply including a shot of the room - er, cell, that I'm sharing with a lovely woman from Australia. We are getting on fine, as she might say. No snoring and we're both cold natured so the room is nice and toasty. Mmmm.

I'm approaching this week as a spiritual retreat as much as a chance to learn more guitar. Last night, I felt the spirit in the first few minutes of the orientation session as the organizer and three others sang this great song.

Sing, like you don't need the money
Love, like you'll never get hurt
Dance, like nobody's watching
If it ain't got heart
It ain't never gonna work

I'm here to find my heart this weekend. We all have a song inside of us ready to be played, we simply have to find it and bring it out into the world with our whole heart. I'm in search of my heart this week and I'm listening very closely to the music not just outside of me, but inside as well.

Once I find that music, I'll never feel inadequate again. Even if I still suck at guitar.