Oh, hell

On the drive home yesterday I flipped through the AM stations, which I often do on a lark when I'm truly bored, and found one of my favorite things to listen to - hellfire preachers.

I don't know who this woman was, but she had an irritating refrain of, "Does that make sense, yes or no?" She, of course, gave no time for anyone to say, "Um, no ..." - because she was on to the next point. If that rings a bell with anyone, please let me know who this woman was. The signal crapped out before the end of her sermon. Does that make sense, yes, or no? :)

Anyhoo, she had a fascinating sermon - one I agreed with in part, but another that I really disagreed with. Her main premise was that hell is real but is neither immanent nor eternal. She believes that when we die, we lie in our graves until Jesus returns to resurrect us all and divide the sheep from the goats. Then the party of heaven and the agony of hell begin. Until then, all our dead loved ones (and hated ones) are simply taking their dirt nap. Does that make sense, yes or no?

She then went on to say that hell is not eternal, but is a refining fire where we are cleansed so we can then be with God. This is the part I actually agreed with in many ways. I truly don't believe there is as "hell" per se, but that there is a reconciling process we go through after death. Ultimately, however, we all are reconciled to God.

But, here's where her argument didn't make sense for me. She talked about how when Jesus returns he will smite the evil in the world, and presumably the evil who have already died - so the goats are destroyed and all that's left are sheep. Why would there even be a need for hell if that is so?

And if the only way that God can overcome evil is to destroy it (an act of spiritual and physical violence) doesn't that mean that God is ultimately powerless to reconcile evil? (And why do we take such glee in picturing God violently destroying the "bad" people?) Why does God have to destroy evil violently instead of "destroying" it by reconciling it to him in whatever process God may choose?

Does that make sense, yes or no?

I tried desperately to keep up with her argument - she had scriptural proofs and whatnot, but in the end it seemed to fall apart for me on many levels that I have outlined above. I believe that God reconciles us and does not wish for our destruction, no matter how poorly we've acted in our lives. I'm not quite sure of the idea that we dirt nap until the second coming. Since I'm not convinced of the "second coming" as some grand rapture like event, it's hard for me to picture what those who believe in such things are talking about. I think Jesus returns every day and every day we torture and kill him like before. Jesus gives us a chance daily, hourly, minute by minute, to bring the kingdom of God to earth, and daily, hourly, minute by minute, we fail to bring it about because of our inability to see that we are interconnected, interwoven to one another. Our self absorption keeps us from recognizing Christ already in the world.

Does this make sense, yes or no?

I'm not sure any of it makes sense, but it's always fun to speculate.

Speculate along with me if you feel so moved.

South Carolina is sooooooo proud!

Our law books here in the Palmetto State require that each child be given an "adequately minimal education."

Mission accomplished.



Here's a link in case you can't see the video above.

Follow the path

"When we look around at what other people have and where they are going, we lose focus on what's important: what we have and where we're going. Yes, there is more than one path to the top of the mountain. But the only one that will get you there is yours. Do not look longingly at the paths of others. Give yours your undivided attention and keep your focus." -Philip Toshio Sudo, Zen Guitar

It's easy to look longingly at the paths of others this week. There are so many accomplished, or at least highly skilled, guitarists wandering the campus. There have been three staff concerts over the week where our teachers have shown their skill. One student remarked that he'd either burn or sell his guitar when he got home because he'd never be that good.

Well, he'd certainly never be that good in the way the teachers are that good. The teachers are not even that good in the way the other teachers are. We all have our own path. We all have our own style. We all have different levels of dedication to our instrument. Some of us play part time, after work, on the weekends. Others, like our teachers, have made music their entire lives. They eat and drink music, sleep it and dream it. That is their path.

My first day here I was tempted to give up my own pursuit of the guitar. I'm an after work and weekend player - 30 minutes a day, tops. Will I ever be as good as any of my teachers? I don't know. I suppose I could be if I dedicated myself to learning what they know. But, I don't want their path. I want my path. I don't do anyone any good by envying another person's life. That's just a distraction away from the fear of living my own life. Looking longingly at the path of another means we fear our own path. We're afraid to find our own heart, our own style, for many reasons. What if we're simply not good enough, not talented enough, not dedicated enough? So? If this path isn't working for you, find another one. Keep searching until you find the path that speaks to you.

You may play your guitar "in the style" of another player. But, you'll never play just like them. You don't have their heart. You don't have their style. You're not on their path. Emerson says our lives are the accumulation of the experiences we've lived. We can't live someone else's experience and we can't walk their path.

There's no use in envying anyone else. If someone else is doing what you want to do, pursue that goal - but realize your path to that goal will look different than theirs. Celebrate their path, uplift them as they travel. But understand, you're on your own path. Stick to it - put the force of your accumulated life behind it - and you'll soon find yourself staring at the world from the mountain top.

Idol worship

I'm engaging a little bit of idol worship at guitar camp. One of the instructors this week is a favorite performer of mine: Billy Jonas. If you've never heard of him, please check out his Web site and buy tons of his CDs. He calls himself a "repercussionist" and uses found objects like barrels and cans for percussion instruments in his songs.

I performed his song, "One" at church and the crowd loved it. Billy was disappointed to learn that the recorder crapped out when we performed it. I was, too. I would have loved to preserved it for posterity, but I'm sure we can do it again.

I've always wanted to use his song "God is In" for a sermon, but was having trouble figuring it out from the recordings since it was in a alternate tuning. He was gracious enough yesterday to teach me the song after dinner last night.

::swoon::

After showing me the chords he asked me to play it back to him and I refused. I was already embarrassed enough and told him to give me some time to practice it up so I wouldn't look like a complete fool trying to play his music. He promised to catch up with me later this week, so I guess I need to practice, eh?

I'm exhausted. Last night I stayed up late (remember 9:30 is bedtime for me) and jammed with a group of folks in one of the jamming tents. I sat with my guitar in the case until the last minute and was coaxed to play a couple of songs. I should have had someone take a picture since I'll probably need to prove to some people that I actually mustered up the courage to play for strangers ...

It was exciting and pass-out frightening all at the same time. As the song passed to the next person I realized I was literally shaking. The air was chilly here last night, but it wasn't that kind of shaking - it was a terrified shaking. But, it was good terror. The folks in the tent were generous to my face, even if they're deriding me today. I don't know if they are or aren't so I don't really care. I felt affirmed in the moment and really, that's all that matters.

I'm glad they only do this thing once a year. It will take me all of the next year to fully digest all of the incredible things I've learned here just in three short days. Theory to pick apart and understand, songwriting tips to incorporate and use, tips and tricks from other players to practice and use. The list is endless.

My back hurts, but my spirit is soaring.

That's gonna leave a mark ...

Well, today at guitar camp, I got a tattoo. Okay, it's a press on tattoo, but I'm thinking of making it the real thing. It's the circle of fifths with a snake as the circle. Check out the pic. It's a handy little tool complete with a chord speller in the middle.


I have graduated to music geekdom.

All hail the music geeks.

It's been a full day. I haven't had a chance to come back to the room to chill before now. Classes in the morning, then a half capo workshop after lunch followed by another class and a free form writing session with a fellow student. The teacher calls it "ink vomit" - just five minutes of free form writing based on a beginning phrase. This is part of the songwriting course I picked up after dumping the "Stealin' from Chet" class that was going to be too over my head technically.

It's turned out to be a great switch since my other two classes are theory. The songwriting class gives me a chance to let the right brain play and it's like a kid going to recess for the first time in months. On the monkey bars, jumping off the swings, then jumping off backward, getting dizzy on the merry-go-round. Damn. This kid hasn't played in awhile. It's nice to have the freedom to do that.

The "ink vomit" (I do hate the word "vomit") is an interesting exercise. You take a phrase and just riff on it and see where it leads. The one the fellow student and I did began with a line from a poem she had: "If the moon were a house ..."

Here's my ink vomit (actually lead vomit, since I used a pencil):

If the moon were a house, I'd sell it to the highest bidder and immediately buy it back. If the moon were a house it would be finely decorated, but have no atmosphere (ba, dum, bump), If the moon were a house I could see inside your window every night and watch over you as you sleep. I'd build an addition just to block out the sun, so you'd have to stare at the moon the rest of your life. If the moon were a house, I'd paint it purple with beige trim and make the property values of the universe plummet. If the moon were a house I'd put a couch on the porch and park my beat up Chevy on the craggy lawn. No need to worry about the growing grass because it's the moon. If the moon were a house, I'd have you over every night so we could shoot pool, drink beer and watch the world go round. If the moon were a house I'd live there forever but I'd kick the old man out and make the place my own. If the moon were a house, we'd live there together until we grow too old then we'd simply float away into space. Floating forever, away from the moon where we made our house.

Well, they call it "vomit" for a reason - but there's a fun song in there somewhere ...

I'm including a shot of the pedestrian bridge to the other side of campus. Warren Wilson is gorgeous and the view of the mountains with the morning mist is breathtaking. The bridge is beautiful and represents what I'm working on this week - bridging that gap between mind and spirit, body and soul, music and musician.

I'm well on my way to that spiritual journey - and I know it's gonna leave a mark.

This one time, at band camp ...

I arrived in beautiful Asheville last night, all set to sharpen my chops at the Swannanoa Gathering. It's both guitar and contemporary folk week, so there are people wandering the Warren Wilson College campus with guitars and mandolins. (No trumpets and I'll steer clear of any I see.) One guy told me he had a bazookie (not sure how to spell that), which he says is a bass mandolin. Can't wait to see that appear at a jam session.

I spent the first night not even touching my guitar, but watching a lot of other people play theirs. Orientation consisted of some housekeeping items and a short performance by each teacher. It turned into a monster concert and left me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. I found the beer tent and headed back to my room to play the three songs I know by heart and began to doubt the wisdom of coming to place where everyone seems way ahead of me in skill.

The lady at the beer tent was philosophical. "Well, you expect your teachers to be a lot better than you."

Indeed.

But, there's that nagging voice that says you're not good enough and you never will be. I tied that voice up and set it in the closet before leaving for class this morning, but it escaped. The first class on theory was a blast. Great stuff to know and learn. I even have a press-on "circle of fifths" tattoo that I'll be sporting later today.

But, the voice made its reappearance in the second class called "Stealing from Chet" where we're learning some Chet Atkins licks and styles. Having never finger picked before it was way over my head. After I blog, I'm going to go out into the rain and talk with the class folks about perhaps finding a different class. The songwriting classes looked great, so I may try that. I haven't written any songs since the 80's, but it's never too late to start again, eh?

I haven't taken many pics yet, so I'm simply including a shot of the room - er, cell, that I'm sharing with a lovely woman from Australia. We are getting on fine, as she might say. No snoring and we're both cold natured so the room is nice and toasty. Mmmm.

I'm approaching this week as a spiritual retreat as much as a chance to learn more guitar. Last night, I felt the spirit in the first few minutes of the orientation session as the organizer and three others sang this great song.

Sing, like you don't need the money
Love, like you'll never get hurt
Dance, like nobody's watching
If it ain't got heart
It ain't never gonna work

I'm here to find my heart this weekend. We all have a song inside of us ready to be played, we simply have to find it and bring it out into the world with our whole heart. I'm in search of my heart this week and I'm listening very closely to the music not just outside of me, but inside as well.

Once I find that music, I'll never feel inadequate again. Even if I still suck at guitar.

Visit Reverend Bitch, Sir

My good friend and sometime mentor (though I always resisted whatever he suggested), Rev. Paul Turner, has launched his own blog.

Dubbed "Reverend Bitch, Sir" you only have to read a few lines to understand the title. Paul is as outspoken as he is out - and believe me, he's way out.

A blog suits him and I'm looking forward to reading as he muses loudly in cyberspace.

Check it out.

I am the answer!

I just realized this morning that two days ago, I became the answer to life, the universe and everything. I turned that magic number - 42.

I always chuckled at the absurdity of Douglas Adams' assertion that 42 was the answer to life, the universe and everything, not quite understanding its meaning until now.

I've discovered that 42 really is the answer the life, the universe and everything. I've never felt better, looked better or even smelled better. I think 42 is the answer to it all because at this age you can look back on life and know that no amount of money in the world would make you go back to your teens, 20s or even 30s, because you were such a putz back then.

At 42 you have the wherewithal to resist the temptation to believe your own hype, but at the same time know that there's a world of infinite possibilities just waiting for you. You've reached that magical age where people take your opinion seriously. They actually listen to you when give advice, and they don't yet cringe when you say, "Well, when I was young ..."

It's a grand and glorious age, this 42. Instead of celebrating each birthday as the anniversary of my 21st birthday, I think I'll start making each birthday the anniversary of the best age - 42 - where you become the answer to life, the universe and everything.

Woo hoo!

Religious groups no longer at the back of the parade

In every pride parade I participated in when I lived in Atlanta, the religious groups were always in the very back. We were the afterthought - the red-headed step children of the pride parade. The organizers showed their discomfort with our very presence by placing us so far in the back that most of the party was over by the time we reached Piedmont Park. They just didn't want to be bothered by those religious types.

My, how times have changed.

NEW YORK -- Religious groups led the city's gay pride parade on Sunday, lending gravity to an often outrageous event that also featured a jumble of drag queens in feather boas, marching bands, motorcycle-riding lesbians, rugby players and samba dancers.

[...]

As in past years, exhibitionists were also on display as the parade inched down Fifth Avenue and into Greenwich Village. Some revelers gyrated in bikini briefs and pranced in spike heels.

But the placement of the Christian, Jewish and Buddhist religious organizations near the head of the march - ahead of AIDS service groups and political advocacy groups - gave them unaccustomed prominence.

This truly is a significant development in our movement. I predicted a long time ago that our push for civil right would never be won unless we gave prominence to our religious groups, and perhaps, finally, the powers that be in our movement are listening.

I hope this is and enduring trend, and religion is not just the new black - to be tossed out with the next fad.

It's Pat!

I can count on one hand the number of times I've agreed with Pat Buchanan and still have enough fingers left to pop the top off a cat food can. The cats would be on their own however, if I had to count the number of times I wanted to lob a spitball at the back of Pat's head during a live appearance he made at a TV station in Atlanta I worked for during Pat's delusion that he could be elected president. But, I had a mortgage and future cat food tins to buy back then … so, alas, they were only thoughts. But, I digress.

This rare occurrence of agreement with Pat happened as I was reading one of his latest columns entitled "Why Congress Caved to Bush." He nails it.

Why did the Democrats capitulate?

Because they lack the courage of their convictions. Because they fear the consequences if they put their antiwar beliefs into practice. Because they are afraid if they defund the war and force President Bush to withdraw U.S. troops, the calamity he predicts will come to pass and they will be held accountable for losing Iraq and the strategic disaster that might well ensue.

[…]

The congressional Democrats are cynical, but they are not stupid. If the surge works and U.S. troops are being withdrawn by fall 2008, they do not want it said of them that they “cut and ran” when the going got tough, that they played Chamberlain to Bush’s Churchill.

And if the war is going badly in 2008, they know that the American people, in repudiating the party of Bush and Cheney, have no other choice than the party of Hillary and Pelosi and Harry Reid.

The Dems know they are not beholden to the people who put them in office – where else will they go if the Dems don't get us out of Iraq as polls show most people want Congress to do? They'll vote Republican? Riiiiiight. So, while the Dems may have to take some abuse in the interim, they know they still have the vote of the poor suckers who think war is immoral, and especially immoral when it's founded on lies and out and out greed.

I pray earnestly that one day we'll have a two party system in this country – or at the very least, we'll discover either leaders with guts or be able to pull ourselves away from American Idol long enough to realize that we do have the power to change this corrupt system.

The Baptists love you ... really!

No longer content to just sit by and hate the sin, the Southern Baptist Convention has officially hired a "love the sinner" director.

On Friday, Bob Stith, after retiring as pastor of Carroll Baptist Church in Southlake Texas becomes director of Southern Baptists' Ministry to Homosexuals Task Force.

Thirteen years ago Stith began to feel guilty about negative attitudes toward homosexuals coming across in his own preaching. He got involved in Exodus International, a Christian ministry that leads people out of homosexuality, and Living Hope, a non-denominational Exodus referral agency in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.

In 2001 Stith made a motion at the SBC annual meeting to establish a task force "to inform, educate, and encourage our people to be proactive and redemptive in reaching out to those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions."

What sent ol' Stith over the edge is that "gay right activists" - y'know, those folks who want everyone to be nice to gays and lesbians and give them equal rights - those evil people, are trying to "normalize" homosexuality by pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and making them believe that the Bible doesn't clearly condemn homosexuality.

Stith said if people are born homosexual and cannot change, the Bible must be wrong, because 1 Corinthians 6:9 says there were people in the early church who came out of homosexual lifestyles. Stith said even a tacit embrace of homosexuality as acceptable and normal threatens the authority of Scripture.

Well, guess what, Stithy-boy, the Bible must be wrong by your math, because 1 Corinthians 6:9 doesn't say one word about homosexuals. It talks a lot about male prostitutes, but not one word is spoken against gays or lesbians (who, by the way, are generally not prostitutes - those who are should certainly "come out" of that "lifestyle").

But, of course, the Bible is wrong on many things, including the shape of the earth (round, not with four corners), the status of women (equal, not property), and the practice of slavery (wrong, not condoned by God). But, in this case, it's really not the Bible that's wrong as much as it is the interpretation. Since the word "homosexual" wasn't coined until the 1800s, there's no way it appeared in the ancient text. And don't think the ancients didn't have words for the gay and lesbian folks among them, they certainly did - they just never mentioned them in any of their list of moral condemnations.

So, please, SBC, keep your "outreach" in the closet. We have no need of "ex-gay ministries." We need good Jesus-lovin' men and women telling us about God's love for us just as we are, since that is how God formed us in the womb - same-gender loving children of God.

Now, that's Good News!

It would be funny if it weren't so sad

So, Bush tells Congress that they had better not send him any legislation that eases restrictions on abortion. Why?

Because he will not “allow taxpayer dollars to be used for the destruction of human life.”

Um, so why are all of our taxpayer dollars begin used to fund a war??????

Isn't it fundamental in any war that there will be "destruction of human life?"

Oh, I forget, a fetus has more rights than a Muslim, or a U.S. soldier all grown up from fetushood.

The hypocrisy of this statement would be hilarious if it wasn't costing human lives every single day. When will "human life" include Muslims, soldiers and anyone in harm's way instead of just meaning a glob of cells that cannot live outside the womb?

When?

Beginning the Conversation

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers."

Those were the words imprinted on the side of a tractor trailer truck that I passed on the way to Greenville, South Carolina on April 4, 2007 to witness the Soulforce Equality Ride stop at Bob Jones University. It seemed an appropriate description of the riders, 50 young adults who are traveling on two separate buses to 32 colleges that have policies against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students.

As I stood in the sun, hair hopelessly whipped by a constantly blowing cool wind, I witnessed many acts of courage - many fears that had said fervent prayers and were prepared to face whatever came their way. The first act was my own. As I rounded the corner after parking my car I came upon a group of anti-gay protesters - a bunch of Southern Baptist skinheads really - young men with closely cropped hair and eyes that had already gone dead with blind bigotry. Jordan Phillips from Faith Baptist Church in Primrose, Georgia, offered me a pamphlet with a coffin on the front of it that informed me that I was fated for death and without Jesus I would be cast into the lake of fire.

He told me all about the sodomites across the street who wanted to be allowed to go into Bob Jones and teach the students how to be homosexuals. I wanted to laugh at his ignorance about what he was protesting, but instead, I gathered my courage and fell into a habit I had honed for some two decades - I morphed into the journalist. I held the microphone and let him spew - careful to keep a poker face as his words formed the rhetorical rope that finally hung him. Only he didn't have a clue how horrible he sounded - to him his words were loving and kind. To me, they were fists and kicks, blows to be avoided at all costs.

I thanked him for his time and crossed the street, only to find yet another protester, a Baptist preacher named Stan Craig orating loudly about how much he loved homosexuals. He was literally screaming about his love!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Pastor Craig seems to have missed this part of 1 Corinthians 13 - as did all the other sign wielding protesters and blaring street preachers.

When I made it to the Soulforce Equality Riders, who were lined up on the sidewalk outside of Bob Jones in silent vigil, I finally encountered love. The riders stood as members of yet another anti-gay group approached them and talked with them about their beliefs. The Soulforce riders answered their questions, gave their testimonies and deflected criticisms with patience, grace and gentleness. No one shouted, no one pointed fingers or called names - they simply talked. Were minds changed? Probably not right away, but seeds were planted, probably on both sides.

When GLBT people are faced with protesters we're used to the sign carrying, bullhorn blasting bullies who show up at prides and other events. What we're not used to are opponents who will simply dialogue with us. That takes courage - on their side and on our side.

This is the courage I witnessed at Bob Jones - not just the courage of those who walked on campus and offered themselves freely to the arresting officers - but those who stayed behind and talked to anyone who came up to them. This is Soulforce's real goal with this Equality Ride. No one expects that Bob Jones or any of the other schools they visit will see the light because of the riders and instantly change their anti-GLBT policies. What Soulforce is seeking is what I saw on the street that day - open dialogue - a chance to witness to the opposition and to give the opposition a chance to witness to us.

Until we begin to see each other as people with feelings and lives, strengths and vulnerabilities, and not caricatures carrying signs and bullhorns, there will be no resolution to this seemingly intractable problem. It's true that each person in that conversation had an ulterior motive - to ultimately change the thoughts and behaviors of the person they were talking with - but the fact that they were brave enough to start the conversation means that God can use it to create real change. That change may not be what we want - the conversion of a bigot to our way of thinking - but it creates an opening for grace. It plants seeds that only God can grow into what it needs to become. Our job is to pray through our fears and like the Soulforce Equality riders find the courage to begin that conversation.

Is Dobson the One Doing God's Will?

I've just started reading Jesus Machine by Dan Gilgoff - it's a book that traces the history of James Dobson and how his Focus on the Family empire was built and how he's come to hold such political power.

I'm only into the early chapters, but I read a story about Dobson this morning that got me to thinking and wondering. Apparently, Dobson's father prophesied that Dobson Jr. would be wildly successful in his mission to carry God's word into the world. Dobson's dad, before dying of a heart attack in his 60s, said he had talked with God and God had told him that he would continue his great work through his son.

I had a little flash of insecurity upon reading that passage. I thought, well, what if God IS on the side of Dobson and IS blessing his efforts and spreading HIS word through people like Dobson?

It seems like ventures like Whosoever or other more "liberal Christian" organizations struggle to get their message out or struggle to be heard or struggle to get money or struggle to articulate their message clearly -- on and on it goes, struggle after struggle. While doors swing open wide for Dobson and those like him. Money, support, political cache, TV and radio programs - the list of success go on an on and on.

Now, as a good Southern Baptist, I was always taught that when you're doing God's will things work out for you - all these things are added unto you when you're seeking God's righteousness. Struggles cease and God smooths the way so God's will can be accomplished.

So, it got me to wondering - is it truly a sign of God's blessings on your ministry to be wildly successful in the world? To have those barriers drop like the walls of Jericho? Dobson seems to move in the world with such ease - successful at everything he attempts - making money all the way. Dobson is certainly effective at business and spreading a message, but it is truly God's message? Would Dobson be just as successful if he had a passion for selling ice cream or insurance as he is for selling God? Is Dobson really a man of God or is he just a shrewd businessman who would succeed no matter what the product? Did God really speak to Dobson's father or was this wishful thinking from a dying man who regretted not doing as much as he might have been able to do?

But, then I'm reminded of Jesus who eschewed popularity, money, fame, political cache and all that Dobson has garnered in his lifetime. Jesus struggled constantly - no money, little support - but his message seemed to stick - even into our modern times.

If Jesus had all the same technology and advantages we do, which kind of organization would be he running, Focus on the Family or Soulforce? The Christian Coalition or Whosoever? If he had the chance that we have in this modern world to have a high, powerful, profitable platform from which to proclaim his message - would he use it?

Is this truly how God works in the world - through the powerful, the rich, the well-connected, the wise entrepreneur? Or does God still work through the lowly, the disenfranchised, the outcast, the poor and politically disempowered?

Or, am I limiting God? Is this a both/and situation instead of an either/or? Does God find ways to work through both situations? But, geez, why does "our side" have to struggle so much to get what we believe God has shared with us out into the world? Why is it so easy for a message of exclusion to be get out into the world and a message of inclusion to struggle so badly to be heard?

But, perhaps that's always been the way as human beings split off into tribe after tribe after tribe, warring against one another. Perhaps messages of exclusion have always had the power to resonate deeper than messages of inclusion. Messages of exclusion have a greater appeal to our sense of being special - that we have something that someone else doesn't and that sets us apart from "them." Messages if exclusion feed our need to feel superior - like we have some special knowledge or blessing that "they" don't have. Messages of exclusion appeal to our baser needs - that need for our own individual ego to survive any assault.

Inclusion feels like assimilation - like no one is special because we recognize that we are all special. There's no opportunity to stand out in the crowd or have our cake and eat it too. There's no way to get ahead, be the grand poobah or rally any kind of special recognition if we are all included in God's grace. If we are all destined for glory, then who do we attack to get ahead? Who can we shove out of line if we're all headed for God's realm?

Indeed, it's easy to see why messages of exclusion garner so much of the world's adoration, the world's support and the world's money. It makes us feel special. It makes us feel superior. It makes us feel "right" while consigning others to the hell of being "wrong."

My original question in all of this: Is Dobson's worldly success and ease of getting that success proof that he is indeed doing God's will in the world?

I'm still pondering.

I'd love your thoughts!

Whacked Morality

So, Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Gen. Peter Pace thinks homosexuality is immoral, does he?

"I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts," Pace was quoted as saying in the newspaper interview. "I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is OK to be immoral in any way."

Let's just think this through for a moment. Two individuals who love one another and come together to form a union, who just happen to be of the same gender, are committing an immoral act.

But, in Gen. Pace's world, two individuals, armed with guns point them at each other and shoot because they are at war is NOT an immoral act.

Hmmm. Who has the whacked sense of morality here?

It reminds me of the debate that raged on the message boards when Xena: Warrior Princess was still on television. There was a faction of fans, called subtexters, who believed that Xena and her sidekick Gabrielle were more than friends and in fact loved one another deeply and were partners in every sense of the word. This greatly upset those fans who opposed homosexuality and found it to be "immoral."

It's the same whacked morality. They didn't see one thing wrong with the violence portrayed in each Xena episode - people vying against one another, people dying, people suffering. That didn't phase them. But, two people of the same gender might love one another? IMMORAL!

How did our society get this way? How have we come to believe that love is immoral but violence and war are not?

Gen. Pace said he was raised to believe that homosexuality was immoral - he was also raised to believe that war is one of the best ways we have to solve the world's problems.

We need to teach our children better values than those that Gen. Pace grew up learning.

Love, in all its forms, is moral. War, in all its forms, is immoral.

Still a Lie - Only Nicer

Okay, this disturbs me. It seems that leaders of the so-called "ex-gay ministries" are calling on preachers to be less vitriolic in their condemnation of gays and lesbians - so they won't be scared away from entering such "ministries."

While the audience included some of the local Christian right’s most hardened culture warriors, (ex-gay leader Andrew) Comiskey’s message was that the church should embrace gay and lesbian people (in order to “cure” them, of course) rather than attack them. He told the crowd he believes that homosexuality is caused by some sort of developmental inner conflict, and by tackling that conflict head on people can transform from gay or lesbian to heterosexual. He said he believes churches need to welcome people struggling with homosexuality and establish ministries aimed at helping them cure their same-sex desires.

“For individuals who didn’t [develop into heterosexuals], they’ve got some unfinished business, and I want to help them finish that up,” said Comiskey. “And I can think of no better place to do that than in the body of Christ.”

Yikes! So the snake will talk sweetly to you before it bites you in the ass. How Christian!

I applaud their graceful approach, but I can't help but see it as completely cynical (but perhaps I'm just cynical about them, no?). Certainly you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, but the result is the same - dead flies - only here we have either literally dead gays and lesbians or at least spiritually dead ones.

Memo to the ex-gay movement: You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can say your lies in wonderful dulcet tones, but they are still lies.

The best weapon against the ex-gay fraud is education. Visit Wayne Besen's excellent site, Truth Wins Out, to learn how this movement was founded on fraud and continues to perpetuate the fraud. All these people do is harm gays and lesbians, whether they shout at us or coo sweetly in our ears. They are deadly to our community. Don't buy the lie.

A Taste of Their Own Medicine

Gay rights activists in Washington state have come up with a brilliant idea - a law that tells straight folks to either procreate or their marriage is over:

Proponents of same-sex marriage have introduced an initiative that would put a whole new twist on traditional unions between men and women: It would require heterosexual couples to have children within three years or else have their marriages annulled.

Initiative 957 was filed by the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance, which was formed last summer after the state Supreme Court upheld Washington's ban on same-sex marriage.

In that 5-4 ruling, the court found that state lawmakers were justified in passing the 1998 Defense of Marriage Act, which restricts marriage to unions between a man and a woman. In defending the act, the ruling specifically mentioned a state interest in furthering procreation.

Under I-957, marriage would be limited to men and women who are able to have children. Couples would be required to prove they can have children to get a marriage license. If they did not have children within three years, their marriages would be subject to annulment.

All other marriages would be defined as "unrecognized" and people in them would be ineligible to receive marriage benefits.

Finally, the straight folks will get a taste of what it's like when the law goes poking its nose into your personal business. All those fundies who touted procreation as the number one reason to keep marriage as a heterosexual only club will now have to put their money where their mouth is and pony up the kiddies or face dissolution of their sacred union. Oh, the hew and cry that this proposal will cause. I can hear it now, "What right do you have to dictate what my personal relationships look like?"

One of the anti-same-gender marriage proponents called the proposal "absurd."

Our point exactly.

Losing Molly

I am so sad this morning to hear of the passing of one of my heroes - Molly Ivins.

I met Molly years ago when I was working at WAGA TV in Atlanta. She appeared on Good Day Atlanta, the morning show where I was an associate producer. I seemed to be the only one who was excited about her appearance on our show to promote her latest book.

When the doorbell rang at the back door that morning I told the intern I'd get it. I was so excited to open the door and find Molly standing there. I smiled and invited her in. As we walked toward the green room I told her, "You're one of my heroes!"

She laughed and said, "Hon, you'll be my hero if you get me a cup of coffee."

That morning, I became Molly Ivins' hero.

Her liberal voice, her wit, and her heart will be missed. She was truly a legend.

Rest in peace, Molly.

Welcome to the new Christian Agnostic

Hey all,

It seems that running Word Press on the Whosoever site eats up a LOT of disk space, so I'm axing Word Press and turning to Blogger.com for some free space so I can, well, have more free space over at Whosoever! Thank you, blogger.com!

For those new to the blog, let's review why we're called The Christian Agnostic:

“The Christian Agnostic” is inspired by Leslie Weatherhead’s 1965 book by the same name. It was Weatherhead’s words that helped me reclaim my faith in the face of many events (not the least of which was the acknowledgement of my natural sexual orientation) that shattered my old beliefs in Christianity.

Weatherhead defines a Christian Agnostic as someone “who is immensely attracted by Christ who seeks to show his spirit, to meet the challenges, hardships and sorrows of life in the light of that spirit, but who, though he is sure of many Christian truths, feels that he cannot honestly and conscientiously ’sign on the dotted line’ that he believes certain theological ideas about which some branches of the church dogmatize.”

The Christian Agnostic is written by Candace Chellew. I am a recovering Southern Baptist and founder/editor of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Christians. I am an ordained minister and I hold (well, I had framed) a master’s in theological studies from the Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Atlanta, Ga. I am also a spiritual director, trained through the Omega Point program at the Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta. I am currently the assistant pastor at Garden of Grace United Church of Christ in Columbia, S.C. In my past life, I worked for the past two decades in journalism and public relations.